I wanted to take an opportunity to highlight one of the charities I will be racing for next March. Thus far it is the only charity listed, but not from lack of trying to find others. I would like to have a total of three that I will be racing for, and I will profile the other two at a later date (once I find them!). I will profile one later in this post.

I find it is important for me not to train and compete for purely selfish reasons (although I am first to admit that a lot of selfishness went into deciding to do so!). If my ego gets in the way, it defeats the purpose and the method of how I want to improve myself; to be healthy, happy, and in service. I want to raise funds for worthy causes during the process and share my story so that I can be constantly reminded of the transformation I hope to achieve, and share the absolute joys of a healthy lifestyle, lest I fall into old habits and let my ego take control, then I will not be satisfied with any results, and the important aspects will fall by the wayside. That has proven destructive for me in the past.

I know I have been a bit oblique with these statements thus far, so I’ll clarify in the spirit of honesty. Much of the reason as to why I have considered myself an unhealthy person is rooted in the fact that I am an alcoholic. It’s not easy to admit because it holds such a negative social stigma, and I don’t like to admit when I don’t have control over something. I drank heavily to ease pain, anxiety, depression, and anger, all of which were exacerbated by the heavy drinking. This of course led to a general lack of care for my physical body and spiritual well being. My thought process was “I was already doing damage to myself, why use toothpicks to rebuild a still burning house?” Furthermore, it was out of my control. This was the insanity by which I lived. Obsession, fed by fear, accompanied by physical exhaustion and spiritual void.

I say all this not to bring down what I want to be a positive experience, but to honestly share a part of myself that I tried to control and keep to myself for a long time. I also want to demonstrate that I found hope where I felt only hopelessness. That in recovery I have the capability to do something positive and extreme that I would have never thought possible, nor had the motivation to see through (by the way, I want to make clear that this is not substitute for recovery or treatment, only a supplement I am using after some time in active recovery). For me this has been a positive supplement to recovery in many ways (I will reserve these for a future blog post).

There are those too who face greater challenges. My problems for the most part were of my own making, and I am fortunate to have the tools to lift myself up. Some don’t have this luxury, and I believe we are obligated to help as we are able.

Which brings me to Compassion International (you can go directly to my donor page here). Compassion began as a relief organization back in the 1950’s with the purpose of providing aid to orphaned children of the Korean war. Today, it has operations all over the world, taking a sustained approach to child development in areas of the world where poverty is most severe. Compassion offers individual child sponsorship (for $38 per month to help support the child’s diet, medical care, and education), as well as broader programs to support local medical care and education. The sponsorship option is really great because it gives you an opportunity to develop a personal relationship with a child from another part of the world. Especially having kids of our own, sponsorship has been a very rewarding experience for all of us.

As I mentioned, I will be adding two more charities within the coming weeks. There are quite a few sites that make this process fairly easy. I am looking into a site called Razoo. Here individuals set up their own fundraisers with any charity they choose, and Razoo handles the transaction/processing.

Donations to charities posted on this website can be made at any time, and are very much appreciated. Think of how wonderful it would be to start this thing from zero (literally and figuratively), and achieve our goals of fully funding these pledges. I would like to believe it might start a positive chain reaction, where others might start fundraising for causes they believe in, and improve themselves in the process. In a culture that feeds on negativity, positive action is a welcome comfort. At the very least we can poke a few holes in the darkness and let some light shine in. I recognize that it’s bold to assume that this can be achieved through an insignificant and mostly unread chronicle of a crazy person, but a small gesture has more of a chance to have an impact than no gesture at all.

I just learned through their Facebook page that the Ironman Cabo will now have a flatter bike course. This makes me happy. Instead of heading inland from San Jose del Cabo uphill toward the airport (and through the hot desert), we will instead be doing three laps between Cabo San Lucas and San Jose del Cabo. I’m guessing the race coordinators saw the 41% DNF (did not finish) rate, the exceptionally long bike times for those that did finish, and the comments about the bike course on the internet (most claiming that it was one of the most difficult bike courses on the circuit, with over 6,000 ft. of climbing).

Now I’m just hoping that they’ll do something about the heat and the wind…

http://www.ironmanloscabos.com/home_ing.asp

Orange County Half Marathon Race Report:

Marie and I getting ready to race

Goal Race Time: 1:45:00
Actual Race Time: 1:49:45
Pace: 8:23 min/mile

It’s going to sound like I’m making a lot of excuses for missing my target for this run (and let’s face it, I am), but for the sake of saving face, let’s call these “excuses” “learning experiences”. After all, it was the first race for me this year, and I have a lot of room for improvement. Also, it may appear that I am painting the experience in a negative light. On the contrary we had a blast, and can’t wait to do it again, but the stories about what went wrong are far more entertaining. These are also the experiences we can learn from going forward. But just so I’m clear (before I start ranting), it was a very fun race.

The day started early, as the race start time was 6:15 am. They asked us to be at the Orange County Fairgrounds at 5:30 sharp at “Corral #1” to load on to shuttles to take us to the race start at Fashion Island (the fact that they called it a “corral” is really telling). We should have expected a complete lack of coordination on the part of the organizers and planned accordingly, but we chose to be lemmings this day and follow the rules.

Standing at the end of a line that stretched along the entire circumference of the fairgrounds, I recognized the impossibility of shuttling 10,000 people more than 10 miles away via school buses within a 45 minute time frame. We began to realize that we wouldn’t make it to the start at the beginning of the race, thus I would not be able to join the 1:45 pace group. First challenge of the day, but that’s alright. The time does not start until I cross the start line. It occurred to me while we were standing there that this was not a logistical failure at all. I feel that the organizers planned (and probably rightfully so) to trickle groups of people in in a more manageable way, most people getting to the start after the gun. Thus, 3-4000 people starting at the correct start time makes a much better photo op than 10,000 people flooding the streets, bottle-necking the start line. Unfortunately for some of the faster runners arriving late, this means zigzagging through people on the course.

Bomb sniffing dogs – an ominous reminder of what happened in Boston a few weeks earlier. Fortunately, Keanu Reeves  was not present for this bus adventure

The bus ride (and the accompanying smell) brought back bad memories of bullies and uncomfortable silences with crushes. Fortunately it was short lived and we were dropped off about a quarter mile from the race start. This gave us an opportunity to do a quick warm up before getting to the race start. As expected the start line was now empty, aside from our bus group, some teamsters breaking down equipment, and piles of litter and clothing. I must admit we crossed the start line a little hastily, as I didn’t check my heart rate before hand, and I struggled to start my iTunes and mapmyrun. About a quarter mile up the hill at Fashion Island and I finally looked at my heart rate, which was about 20 beats per minute above where I wanted it at this point. As my paces will show below, I was not running too fast, so I think the heart rate was probably due to lack of sufficient warm up, nerves, and anxiety about getting to the start line.

The race course itself is actually a well designed and beautiful course. The first half is mostly downhill, which makes for a fast course. The second half is relatively flat with a couple of pretty short but sizable hills. As I mentioned, it starts at Fashion Island, exits out to MacArthur for a lengthy downhill to PCH. It then meanders through Corona del Mar and along Bayside Drive. The course ascends Dover Road and then travels along the Back Bay, shooting out at Irvine Ave, and then up side streets, terminating at the fairgrounds. I think the half marathon was the better deal, as the full marathon did exactly the same course, but instead of turning into the fairgrounds, proceeded into Santa Ana for 13 more miles of fun(?).

With the 1:45 pace group about an hour ahead of me at the beginning, I knew I was pretty much on my own. One of the benefits I wanted to get from running with that pace group was the organic “pull” I would get from pacing stronger runners. Unfortunately, the opposite occurred and I was behind slower runners. The crowds were impenetrable at many points in the course, and I found myself zigzagging constantly to pass crowds. Every time I did this my heart rate would spike, so I just couldn’t relax.

I was extremely impressed by the crowd support along the course. We went through a number of neighborhoods, where people were standing outside, drinking coffee and cheering us on. They could have easily been irritated by a barrage of runners waking their kids and littering up their streets, but they chose to keep it positive. Kudos to them.

As I mentioned, my heart rate was much too elevated for most of the race. Based on my training, I would have liked to have seen my speed at the beginning better reflect what my heart rate was telling me. I was in the high end of zone 2 (between 150 and 160) during the first third of the race. During the second third I was in zone 3 (between 160 and 170). The last 3 to 4 miles I was in zone 4, and reaching what was supposed to be my max heart rate. I recognized pretty early that my heart rate was not going to cooperate due to my inability to relax, so I mostly focused on perceived exertion.

What was the effect of running this way? Many of us know it all too well, and I’m feeling it now, three nights later. Legs that feel like a semi drove over them, complete and utter fatigue, and the feeling that I never want to do that again (that feeling at least escaped me pretty quickly after the race). This reminded me of what it was like to train like this in every effort. Good Lord, how did I survive? I barely did.

I finished the race in 1:49:45, less than a minute faster than my previous best, but a personal best nonetheless. Below are my 1 mile split times as measured by map-my-ride. It measured a tad long, as I was doing a lot of weaving, and I turned it off a bit late. Plus it’s a $2 app and is likely not extremely accurate, but it’s clear enough to see that I ran the second half much faster than the first (despite the fast downhill on the first half).

Distance	Pace
1 mi	08:42 min/mi
2 mi	08:10 min/mi
3 mi	08:33 min/mi
4 mi	08:22 min/mi
5 mi	07:53 min/mi
6 mi	08:31 min/mi
7 mi	08:09 min/mi
8 mi	08:19 min/mi
9 mi	07:48 min/mi
10 mi	07:44 min/mi
11 mi	07:18 min/mi
12 mi	06:55 min/mi
13 mi	07:11 min/mi
13.9 mi	07:34 min/mi

This tells me I could have been faster off the start if I was more relaxed. It also tells me that I gave it everything I had during the last half, and I’m proud of that. To see that I still had enough in the tank to post a sub-7 minute mile and 5 consecutive sub 8 minute miles makes me feel great (not physically, of course, but you know what I’m saying). Despite my complaints about having to pass tons of runners, not locking in my heart rate, and that I didn’t hit my goal, I was still able to post a personal best. And post that best after only about 2 and a half months of training from absolutely unfit. Also, to achieve this with relatively “easy” training. That tells me that something’s working with what I’m doing now. Makes me think “what if I could post 13 consecutive sub-8 minute miles? How about sub-7?”

I’m getting ahead of myself, but I’m obsessive, that’s what I do. For the time being I’ll get back to humility, patience, and acceptance. Back within my heart rate training, and hopefully I’ll hit my goals next race. I also want to say that I’m proud of my wife, Marie for finishing this race. After all, she inspired me to do this one in the first place which got the snowball rolling.

A couple more notes about this race. First, the parking situation was a nightmare. It literally took us longer to get out of the parking lot than it did to run the race (that’s what happens when you wrap the race course around the parking structure and finish it at the main entrance). That was the least enjoyable experience of the entire day. Second, there were camera people everywhere snapping photos that they will eventually sell online. If there are any that were taken of me that look ridiculous (and if the price isn’t too crazy), I will post the worst one here just for laughs. 

Santa Ana River Trail – One of my early morning runs/bikes. Lot’s of protein on this trail (flies)

This week is a “mini-taper” training week, since tomorrow is my first race this year (OC Half Marathon), which I am running with my wife. This “mini-taper” has been a bit of a welcome relief to the training volume I have put in recently, as I have been able to sleep in a bit, and my butt doesn’t hurt from miles on the bike. Being that this first race will be the first opportunity to test my speed, I thought this would be a good opportunity to discuss how I train and how I feel about it.

I’ve only done two half marathons in the past (both in Huntington Beach, in 2007 and 2012). The training plan I had for the first was very simple. Run as frequently as I could, as fast as I could, for as long as I could. Needless to say this was very exhausting. I was always tired, and always dealing with some type of injury such as shin splints, knee pain, back pain, headaches, etc. However, that’s how I understood the training to be working. After all, no pain, no gain, right? It certainly didn’t seem “fun”, but to some extent it worked. It got me to the finish line in a time of 1:52. About an 8:30 pace or so.

The training for the second race became a little more complex. While I was still running as frequently as I could, as fast as I could, for as long as I could, I added a little “doughnut on the baseball bat” so to speak. I was drinking a lot during this time and was often hungover. Apparently I am a glutton for many things, including punishment. By the time of the race I was about three weeks sober, and pulled of a time of 1:51, beating my previous time by a minute. It appears that to some extent this training worked as well.

But obviously it didn’t work at helping me achieve optimal health. While I finished both times at a kind of middle of the pack pace, I certainly wasn’t well. I was constantly injured, tired, and unmotivated. I remember yawning all the time, which was a real joy for those trying to hold a conversation with me. I’m sure many can relate to this feeling to some extent, as it seems like the traditional perception of what exercise is supposed to be involves beating ourselves up as much as possible to make ourselves “stronger”.

This time around I was more or less forced into a slow and steady approach, as it was doctor’s orders to take it easy post surgery. I also started to approach running to a more spiritual experience, as something that strengthened mind, body, and soul. I noticed after a few weeks I was feeling better than I ever had, and had much more energy. I started reading and studying more on how to train for endurance and came across a lot of literature on training aerobically (within specific heart rate ranges).

Phil Maffetone has an approach to finding your maximum aerobic heart rate for training, which has been used by many professional triathletes over the last 30 years. It is suggested that most, if not all, training should be done at no higher than a person’s maximum aerobic heart rate (his book, The Big Book of Endurance Training and Racing, is very informative). I won’t go into the physiology of it, but the theory is that the more you train at this heart rate without exceeding it, the better your slow fat burning mechanism becomes (vs. your fast carb burning mechanism). Because you can burn your stores of fat for longer than you can burn carbohydrates, your endurance increases substantially as you spend more time in the “fat burning” zone. The trick is training your body to burn more fat as fuel, which means slowing down.

For me, because I had conditioned myself to train hard and fast without consideration for biofeedback, at any indication of increased activity, my brain would tell my heart to go bananas. And bananas it would go. It’s no wonder I was always tired, injured, and full of anxiety. I’ve recently determined my maximum aerobic heart rate to be 142 (which is 180 minus my age, minus a few more beats for being injured – a calculation based on Maffetone’s recommendation).

So instead of making the pace the constant in my training, I made heart rate a constant. The other constant that was changed was distance and time. Instead of distance being constant (“I’m going to run 5 miles today), time became the constant (“I’m going to run 1 hour today”). Psychologically this sounds much better since exercising for an hour sounds more appealing than running 5 miles. In theory this makes for much more efficient training as you are relying on biofeedback, and one can build up endurance by adding time each week. Since pace and distance are now variable, I can better judge what my body is telling me based on how those variables trend.

This is a frustrating undertaking at first, but one that I found was exceptionally freeing as I learned to let go of control, and allow myself to be humble, patient, and accepting. I was initially forced to take on an 11-12 min/mile pace in order to keep my heart rate at 142, and I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing anything. Nor was I breaking a sweat or breathing hard at all. As I said, my heart was conditioned to blow up at any hint of activity. I could swear I heard “pick it up, wuss!” as an elderly woman passed me with her walker.

Nonetheless, I was beginning to yawn less and less, I began thinking more clearly, and I was happier and less worried about everything. I am also burning more fat and avoiding injuries. The idea of being humble, patient, and accepting in my workouts began to translate into the rest of my life. Where I placed my ego on the shelf a few months ago, I now buried it in a box and put it in public storage. Below are the results of three runs I performed within one month of each other. I logged the splits for each mile of each run and recorded them to track progress (The “MAF” in MAF test stands for maximum aerobic function). All these miles were done at or within 2 beats of 142.

As the results stand now, I am very near my previous half marathon paces. While one can argue that that in and of itself doesn’t prove that I am any more fit than I was at my two previous attempts since I am not any faster, I would argue that these paces now come with very little effort. Since I have held heart rate constant, my perceived effort is still very low even as the pace has improved.

I’ve learned that this is “real” training. A switch has flipped and I’m pretty well convinced that this is an effective way to improve the health of the mind, body, and soul, regardless of how the race results turn out. I am unsure what to expect tomorrow as I race my third half marathon. While my training is done at 142 heart rate, racing can be done at higher heart rates. My goal is to follow the 1:45 pace group as much as possible and see how I do. If I can pass them and still feel good, I will. If I fall back and finish behind my previous finishes, that’s fine too. I’m still in training and have a long way to go, but at least now I feel happy, healthy, and closer to God. As long as those are the results, that will continue to be my training. That’s a win in my book.

This blog has a few purposes, some of which I don’t yet know, but I want to make an attempt at an honest, open, and candid chronicle of my gradual conversion from leading an unhealthy lifestyle, to becoming physically, mentally, ans spiritually fit. Furthermore, I have committed to training for and competing in the Ironman Los Cabos in March, 2014 to challenge my progress. That is a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike, followed by a marathon. Before you ask why the heck I would want to ruin a perfectly good Sunday in Cabo San Lucas by venturing into the hot desert for miles and hours of physical abuse, let me provide some background.

For many who know me, you may be wondering why I am calling myself unhealthy. That’s a fair question, as I have never been significantly overweight, I have been for the most part “active”, and I’ve been known to eat  a banana or a salad frequently. I myself believed I was healthy. Outward appearances don’t always tell the whole story. In truth I supplemented a poor diet with a few nutritious items to validate my perception of health. The exercise I performed was too harsh, and only further abused my body to the point of injury on multiple occasions. I also drank heavily. Heavily enough that it was affecting my family, my life, and my relationship with God. Toward the end of 2011, I began to cut out exercise all together. For years the net mental affect of all of this was high anxiety, irritability, depression, exhaustion, and lack of motivation. Physically my blood pressure was always elevated (usually over 140 over 90, way too high for a 32 year old), I was showing rapid signs of aging, and I was on my way to an early heart attack or death (God only knows what I was doing to the rest of my body). Spiritually, I no longer felt God in my life. That hole was being filled with other more temporary solutions.

In early 2012 I quit drinking and focused on my spiritual health. I was tired of being angry, anxious, depressed, and tired all the time. I had to let those things go to God and focus on His Will in my life. I feel that this alone gave me the motivation to do things I had always told myself I could not do.

I had surgery on my shoulder in early 2013 due to a previous injury, and I was overcome with a sense of frustration that I could not be active, which came as strange to me since prior to this I did not have any desire to exercise, but only did it out of “necessity”. I tested the limits of “doctor’s orders” by going on long walks. I realized that while I couldn’t push myself physically, I could at least start to eat healthier. While I had cut out alcohol, I was still eating what I wanted when I wanted. Thus began the healthy diet.

My initial frustration led me to the realization that this transformation from unhealthy to healthy was a process that would require significant amounts of humility, patience, and acceptance, each of which I recognized I need a healthy dose. Up to that point, I had never even considered doing a triathlon. On the contrary I said I would never want to do one. But at that point I recognized the correlation between my need for humility, patience, and acceptance, and the necessity of high levels of these attributes to train for, and compete in triathlon.

My mind immediately went to a decade prior when I had watched an Ironman race on TV. At that time, I was amazed by the athletic fortitude required to accomplish such a feat. This was especially true for the age group athletes who had jobs, families, hopes, fears, pain, joy, and any number of other issues. I didn’t recognize that at the time, and certainly didn’t think I was in any position to be on the same level as them. Thus, I cracked another beer and went on feeling sorry for myself.

When my mind came back to the present and my reality, I recognized that I was in an extremely fortunate position. I have two arms, two legs, and a healthy dose of willingness. At that time I committed myself to competing in an Ironman, and chronicling the whole process, from unhealthy and injured to Ironman triathlete. Further more, I set the high goal of working toward qualifying for the Kona World Championship. Having only competed in a couple half-marathons, and never having done a triathlon, I realized that this was a formidable commitment. But I hope to show others that truly anything is possible.

So back to the purpose of this blog. First, the selfish reasons. I am doing this (the race and the blog) to hold myself accountable, and I follow through with this goal of being healthy and fit. I also want to test the theory that a healthy diet and fitness make one a happier person (so far this has been true for me). I also want to set a good example for my family. I would rather my kids see me swigging tomato juice instead of beer.

For unselfish reasons, I am hoping that the few eyes that do come across this page are able to get something from this. It is also my intention to draw awareness to worthy causes and use this as a portal for fund raising (hence the name, “fundracing”… Get it?). If I can be successful in this endeavor, perhaps we can keep it going for future races. I am currently in the process of lining up the charity which will be associated with the race next March, so stay tuned for that.

I now have permission from the doc to run, bike, and swim to my heart’s content, so now the training begins.